Imagine: The Epilogue Mid-Week Bible Study by Crossing Barriers Ministry

I have decided to release my devotional based on the four personal assignments from the bible study. Below is my personal testimony:To Listen To The Complete Message, Click HERE

Now I am not sure if it’s a memory problem, my age or just a case of there are no memories. I would be thankful for all the times he visited me in the hospital as an infant when you could feel you are all alone and scared.

I could also thank him for being instrumental in bringing me home from Foster care at the age of nine now that my parents had returned from all the military transfers.

The remaining memories I have in the slightly over five years I lived at home, are not so pleasant. I remember the black and blue marks from the belt and being ashamed of them that I would change for gym class in the boy’s bathroom.

Truly I wish I had the opportunity to forgive him, but he passed away with Parkinson’s before had the urge to do so. Though memory eludes me, I will give him some of the credit for me knowing the difference between right and wrong.

Forgive those that harmed, neglected, or mistreated you could be a huge list but in the matter of full disclosure, there are quite a few I need to apologize to as well. I grew up with facial deformities that caused other children to be rude and hurtful although not knowing any better because their parents not willing to or don’t know how to educate them. Then as a growing teenager being used as the one to be pranked because he was led to believe he was liked by someone while everyone is laughing in the background. As a young man, employers wouldn’t hire him because they either thought he can’t do the job or as one employer openly admitted he couldn’t hire someone like me because it would drive the customers away and finally today, I still deal with this hurt daily.

I need and want to forgive them because the scriptures tell us to in Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Lord, I ask you to forgive each one of those that may have ever said a hateful thing that hurt me or left me crying. Lord, I ask you to forgive those teenagers back in the day that would tease me and playing hurtful pranks. I also ask you to forgive all those that refuse to give me a job because of the way I looked or for reasons of fearing losing customers. Finally, I ask Lord that you forgive all the adults that didn’t educate their children or the ones that committed hurtful actions themselves,

But Lord, I also thank you Lord for the lessons that I learned from these instances. It made me strong, it gave me the will to go on and at some point, I realized that I was made different for a reason.

I was raised Catholic but shortly after leaving home I rebelled against the church, and religion but still believed in God. I lived daily living a dream wanting to be something that I would never become. I even went as far to expect the world on a silver platter.  I was an alcoholic, unfaithful, and misled people.  It took me a while that things were not just going to fall in my lap because I wished for them thereby relying on assistance from others.

As I got older, I realized that I was missing God in my life. I returned to church but although I was recommitted to God, there was still something missing.  I found a Baptist Church and not only feeling right with God started serving God but still something was missing.

I recall a few times God has changed my life drastically although I know that he always was there with me. The first time I was dealing with a nasty situation that I was truly ready to give up. He sent me an angel that supported me through the nasty situation.

A short time after, we were looking for a church that was a fit for us. We were invited to hear a co-worker perform a solo in church. We found the church we were looking for.

That angel that God sent me, by myside the whole time, was also the one that convinced me that I needed to work on my confidence – something I truly never developed over the years. I was cocky not confident.  As the confidence grew, my life started shining a brighter light.

We were involved in the church in several ministries. I became trained in Disaster Relief and felt God’s push to certify as a chaplain.

Then Thanksgiving 2016, we had just moved into our house and I was hospitalized with pneumonia. Three things happened in this period. The first was suddenly I felt the fear of dying and spent the half of the stay in a chair afraid to lay down and go to sleep. The lord eased my concerns.

The second was I felt the push to get further educated. I knew that I couldn’t give up working and go back to school so it would have to be affordable and on line.  This is where I found Christian Leaders College.  I am current enrolled working towards either an associate or bachelor’s degree and have received the status of ordained chaplain.

To Listen To The Complete Message, Click HERE

Bible Reading Assignment

Starting Monday March 18th, we are starting the book of Galatians, Chapters 1 – 5.

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